How to Overcome Discouragement

Everyone gets discouraged at some point or another in their lives and when this happens, our attitudes and emotions become more negative. There are three levels of discouragement: 

• The first level is mild discouragement, when only our emotions are affected.

• The second level is stronger discouragement when your spirit is affected. At this point other people begin to notice that something is wrong, that you are not yourself. Your friends, spouse, classmates, co-workers, or other people at your church see that something is wrong. 

• The third level is disabling discouragement, and it is the worst kind of discouragement. If a person attains this level of discouragement, it becomes difficult for them to handle the normal responsibilities of life. As a result, they try to deal with their discouragement by sleeping, drinking, or drug abuse.

The problem is that we often waste time and energy blaming why we are in a situation and how “we don’t deserve this”. Instead of making comments like, “why did this happen to me?”, “who is to blame?”, “who is going to pay for it?”, “who is going to sort it out for me?”, and “it isn’t fair”, and “why did “they” allow this to happen?” we should be using the time to learn, regroup and move again. We should be using our energy to be creative in raising a phoenix from the ashes of our crisis.

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

                                                     - Dr. Robert Schuller

Everyone must cut his or teeth on some form of experience and in common with many, I have experienced great adversity. We cannot borrow strength as borrowing strength creates weakness. We must acquire strength. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process and I believe that for every battle won or lost we emerge stronger in character—if we choose to learn from it.

I remember the ordeal I had to go through in college that took about 5-6 years of pain; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I had never experienced failure before and experiencing it for the first time was one of the most discouraging feelings I’ve ever had to deal with. 

During my first year in college, I experienced great adversity: financial hardship, poor grades at the end of the first semester exams, stressed out because I carried courses over to the next semester, ate little or nothing during the day and literally had to stay hungry all day long because not only I didn’t have enough money, but I also had lactose intolerance. With gas bubbles forming in my intestines literally every 10 seconds regardless of what I ate, I couldn’t stand the embarrassment incurred when I was on campus around people so I decided to stay hungry anyway.

Also, due to stress, I had a momentary pain around my heart and my first thoughts were “Oh no, I’m too young to have a heart attack!” This led to constant fear of the unknown causing more mental and emotional distress. In addition, I lost friends and family support—they didn’t understand what I was going through and so I became lonely. The truth is that I felt like I was the only  one walking on the surface of the earth with no one to talk to, no one to cheer me on. Words cannot describe how discouraged I was seeing my future being destroyed before my own eyes. And to be honest I was hopeless, insecure, frustrated, discouraged, miserable, depressed, and scared to death. 

The good news is that the only area of my life that was beginning to glow was the spiritual area of my life. It was during this time that I got born again in spirit and began to develop a close and personal relationship with God through His son Jesus Christ. That was the turning point in my life!

As I began to study and meditate on God’s Word, and listen to the teachings of my spiritual mentor every day, I became spiritually strong. Moreover, God began to lead me to scriptures that addressed my situation, and promised that He would help me to overcome the obstacles I faced and give me a NEW future if I was willing to TRUST Him, continue to study His Word, and ensure that I apply the principles I learned in order to transform my mind. I remember making a promise to Him that if He would help me get out of the mess I had in my life back then, I would do everything to lead a life that is pleasing and honoring to Him.

Of the three levels of discouragement I mentioned earlier, I was at the second level. And I needed to be spiritually strong to rise to the challenge I faced. As time went by, I started noticing some imperceptible changes in my attitudes and behaviors. I began to develop strong character, my perspective changed and rather than looking for whom to blame, I started looking for the solution. I had to quit blaming, complaining, and start doing what only I could do—in this case study harder. God reminded me that when I do what I can do He will do what I cannot do. In the end, I made it through by His grace. That is when I believed that God can instantly and dramatically turn any situation I faced completely around.

In retrospect, I realized that my situation back then was divinely orchestrated, and I could not change it no matter how much I tried to do so. God told me somewhere along the line that the difficult circumstance was meant for my personal and spiritual growth in preparation for my purpose in life. And it was during this time that I learned and mastered the principles I’m privileged to share with you today. So without that experience, I wouldn’t be ready to do what He wanted me to do in life.

“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.” - Zig Ziglar 

Other things you should do to help you overcome discouragement

First, you should take time to identify the reasons why you are discouraged. You have to diagnose before you can prescribe. You cannot solve a problem that is not clearly and specifically defined. 

Here are 6 things you can do, on your part, to overcome discouragement:

1. Take 100% responsibility for your discouragement

Do not wait for someone to come along and encourage you. When you are discouraged internally, it is very difficult for people to encourage you. Being discouraged internally is not something that other people can alleviate; it is something that you have to do. Only you can get out of it. Remember, one of the marks of a positive thinker is that he/she is a self-encourager.

2. Never give up

Always resolve in advance that no matter the setback you encounter you will never give up. Look upon every setback you encounter as a learning curve you must endure before you can become what you want.

3. Listen to motivational tapes

One of the reasons why I stayed encouraged during those difficult years when I felt like giving up was because I spent time watching and listening to encouraging messages. They lifted my spirits.

4. Read something inspirational/ motivational

If there is no one to talk to, then read. Continue to feed your mind with what you want. Back then, I had some inspiring books and spiritual magazines to read. They helped me to stay more motivated and positive. 

5. Avoid excessive reasoning, blaming, and complaining

I never understood why "they" allowed it to happen. As a result, I spent too much of my time blaming myself, others and how “I don’t deserve this”. However, as I read those inspiring books and listen to biblical teachings, I learned that I had to give up all blaming and complaining if I wanted to see the results I was hoping for. I learned that when I do what I can do, God will do what I cannot do.

6. Choose to smile

This is one of the best things we can do to lift our spirits and improve our outlook on life. Being happy now means making yourself laugh more often, not a chuckle or grin but a really big belly laugh. Moreover, develop a good sense of humor and find something funny to laugh about. Sometimes just putting a smile on your face can do wonders for your attitude. 

I challenge you: if you're discouraged, take responsibility for it. You have no control over what happens to you but you have total control over how you deal with your situation. Encourage yourself by turning to God and to God's Word. And in God's Word you will find hope, help, and the strength to overcome discouragement.

Stay Motivated & Positive,

Gerard Ndzebir

Related Article: 7 Ways to Overcome Discouragement