Boosting Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to have more emotional problems than others, set low goals for themselves, become socially invincible, conform against their better judgment and court rejection by putting others down.
To determine your level of self-esteem, answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:
1. Do you tend to be critical of other people to make yourself feel better?
2. Do you have very little confidence in your abilities?
3. Are you very sensitive to criticism?
4. Do you have a hard time accepting praise or flattery?
5. Do you feel awkward in social situations and just don’t know how to take charge?
If you answer “yes” to most of the foregoing questions, you may be suffering from low self-esteem. Research shows that people with low self-esteem have a self-protective orientation so they avoid situations in which they might fail and focus on improving their shortcomings.
On the contrary, those with a high self-esteem have a self-enhancing orientation: they capitalize on their strong points and pursue success even when it is risky. However, it is worth noting that whether your self-esteem is high or low, you may have thinking habits that can encourage negative and confused views about yourself.
The following are 3 guidelines for boosting self-esteem:
1. Emphasize your strengths
The fact is that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The problem is that many people pay little heed to their good qualities while talking constantly about their defeats, past mistakes, and failures.
To solve this problem, make a decision to quit working on your weaknesses because if you work on your weaknesses, at best you are going to be average. For example, if you love music and you would like to be a great singer but you cannot sing, your dream does not match your abilities. And if your dream doesn’t match your abilities, it will be a nightmare. Not because you lack the desire or lack the dream. It is not going to happen because you are not good in that area—you simply lack the ability.
2. Learn more about yourself
What we believe about ourselves becomes true as we act in a manner which is consistent with those beliefs. For instance, you have a self-concept for how you dress, how you speak, behave in public, the kind of parent you are or friend, husband, wife, or driver.
The problem is that people with low self-esteem don’t seem to know themselves in much detail as those with high self-esteem.
To boost your self- esteem, you need to take an objective look at yourself. To begin, take time to write down your five chief qualities. Are you hardworking, thoughtful, disciplined, punctual, interested in people, etc? Enroll the help of and objective friend who will give you an honest opinion, possibly your spouse, colleague, or teacher.
3. Realize that you control your self-image
Your self-image is how you see yourself and, most importantly, how you think about yourself. It is like an inner mirror, it is how you perceive yourself now. Too many people, however, allow the internalized voices of their parents, teachers or others who were important when they were growing up, to influence their self-image today.
To solve this problem, the first thing you must do is recognize that you ultimately control how you see yourself. You have the power to change your self-image. Realize that your self-image resides in your mind and is a product of your thinking.
The Bottom Line
Your self-esteem can be built and it directly determines your effectiveness in every area of your life. You can take control of your self-image, learn more about yourself, stop allowing others to set goals for you, and most importantly, take time to find your strengths—what you are naturally good at doing.
To your Success,
Gerard Ndzebir
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